We were riding in the car recently, Liv and I, having a typical car ride conversation. (which can cover every topic under the actual sun) Liv is a questioner, asking about every small thing that we pass on the road…. I mean everything.
She got quiet for a little while, and then began to ask me this list of questions:
“Mama. Why did Jesus die on the cross?”
I was caught off guard. I turned down the blaring jam, Uptown Funk (didn’t think it was good background music to a convo about the gospel) and explained to her, as best I could to a three year old, why Jesus had to die. We discussed sin and the effect it has on our lives. We talked through what it means to be forgiven of sins….you know the easy stuff….my lanta…it was a doozie to navigate.
“Hmm… Did He stay dead?”
I went on to further explain the theology behind the resurrection…looking for the words to be able to explain that concept to a wide-eyed little thang who really wanted to know.
“What does it mean to give your life to Jesus?”
Sweet Jesus take the actual wheel. My heart began to race. Was this happening? Was I giving my three year old the gospel presentation, was I leading her to Jesus…can you do that?? Is that against the rules?
“Well Mama I want to give my life to Jesus.”
I pulled into the garage and took a deep breath. Here’s the thing, 3 years old or not, I was gonna jump on the chance for my little bit to know Jesus. I prayed for the Lord to give me words to explain what it means to surrender to Him.
I was gathering my thoughts when Liv asked,
“Mama. I need to ask you one more question….it’s very important to me.”
“Ok darlin, what is it?” (expecting her to ask if she could lead herself to Jesus…I was fully prepared to allow it…we would’ve had an altar call, complete with praise breaks and glory waves right there in that car)
The silence was building as I sat, pins and needles, waiting on the next amazing, spirit-filled moment.
“Mama?”
“Yes baby?”
“Is the Holy Spirit in Little Mermaid?”
There is one thing that matters in mama-hood. Just one thing.
At times it feels like millions of things matter, always pulling us in millions of directions. But there’s just one thing that, above all else, has value unspeakable.
Your role, fellow super-mama, is to make sure, with everything that you have, that when your son or daughter looks at you, they see Jesus. They see forgiveness and comfort, mercy and a bottom-less love. That when they are with their mama, they are known, noticed and sought after, because that’s what they are to Jesus. They are accepted, flaws and all. They are disciplined out of that deep love and experience the never ceasing affection that they were created for.
When they look at you, they need to see a mama who is head-over-heels in love with her Savior and sold out to chasing after His call on your life. A mama who is surrendered in obedience.
This is all that matters.
The play dates, the latest clothing, attending the best schools, the room-mother meetings, the field days and field trips, the expectations of giving your kids the best this world can offer; those things pale in comparison to the importance of you creating an environment that fosters the development of their hearts, removing hurdles and smoothing the path to His feet.
As mamas, we need to live a life of faith in front of them. Pray with them for healing. Ask BIG THINGS of God in front of them. Celebrate when He moves, cry out to Him when He feels far off…and let them see us in those moments. They need to see how real He is to us.
They need to hear about the mightiness of God from the mouth of their mama. Our lips should constantly be moving about His faithfulness. We are called to speak truth over our precious ones, declare it from the roof top of their little lives, that they have a destiny, a calling and a God-breathed purpose.
Fellow mama: Live your own life with a child-like, wide-eyed wonder over your Creator. Never stop chasing after Him. Look to Him for your every move as shepherd of your little. Ask Him what is important for your tiny one, and do exactly what He says.
It is ultimately our role to lay our children back at His feet.
He gives them to us, to give back to Him.
At His feet is the best place for them to be, surrendered to Him and not controlled by us, who are influenced by the endless expectations that the world puts on mama-hood.
The greatest honor of life is to be a mama.
The greatest honor of a mama is to introduce their little ones to the One who calls all children to His feet.
There they will find eternally what we have been a fraction of on earth.
And to Liv’s mama:
Happy Mother’s Day. We love you and we honor you today.
Wherever you are, wherever your feet are walking, I hope you know you have a family, thousands of miles away, that cares for you, that speaks of you like we know you, that prays for your days and nights to be full of comfort, peace and protection.
I am doing my best to raise the precious one, who came from you, into the woman that she was knit together in your womb to become.
There is no doubt that she was born with a destiny- a strong calling. I spend my days trying to steward that destiny and am leaning on my Father for my every step in that endeavor.
She is loved, as you are loved, by a Father who never ceases. He had a plan for her life from the second she took her first breath, and no matter how much pain and brokenness has happened since then, His plans can not be thwarted. You did not hinder her from that destiny, no one can, I hope you find rest in that.
She is beautiful, funny, brilliant, crazy and stubborn. She has a smile that would knock you down, and the most amazing gap in her teeth.
No doubt you passed down to her things that no one else on this earth possesses, and for that I am thankful.
I dream of you showing up one day, on my porch, smiling that same big wide toothed smile. I dream of you walking the streets of Kinshasa with a gorgeous printed dress carrying way too much on your head, because knowing Nima’s strength, you are undoubtedly strong. I think of you sitting and thinking of the steps that your daughter has taken since that day you saw her for the last time.
I pray that God moves in your heart so strongly today, giving you knowledge of your daughter straight from His heart:
She is loved. She has been protected by His mighty hand since those last moments with you and will be for the rest of time.
He loves you, we love you, she loves you.
We will always honor your existence.
We will never hide you from your daughter; you will always be a part of her story.
She will know her identity as daughter: ours, yours and His.
