Shut Eye

So…here’s the real, raw scoop:  WE. ARE. TIRED.

Our little E has not slept through the night (with the exception of 4 glorious manna from heaven nights) since returning from China.

Yeah…you did the math right…that’s 4 nights of solid sleep in 3 weeks.

Our little dumpling falls asleep fine…she tricks you into believing she’s a sleeping angel that’s about to snooze straight through until morning.

But then….2 hours later (literally on the dot) she wakes up and begins the nightly ritual of 1 hour of light sleeping at a time.

1 hour and then she’s up….again…over and over and over.

And when she’s up, she’s not happy about it.  She’s angry and defiant and fights going back to sleep at all costs.

Let. Me. Tell. You. Something.  Sleep deprivation is a real struggle.

I don’t know if you have ever walked the road of no sleep…but you think and say things in the middle of the night that you would NEVER admit to saying once the sun comes up.

There is a darkness about the middle of the night that is not just physical…there’s a desperation that exists when you’re beyond yourself from exhaustion, doing everything in your power to get your little love back to sleep.

And let me tell you…we have tried EVERYTHING:

Essential oils:  I have basically baptized her in them every night.
Sound machine:  It is TURNT UP loud.
Rocking
Bouncing
Pacing
Singing
Worshipping
Praying
Pleading

It’s all happening every night of the week at the Hammett household.

As I’ve watched my tiny dumpling struggle, truly struggle, every night something has occurred to me.

There is a level of comfort that is absolutely necessary for true rest.  For that deep, mouth hanging open kind of sleep, you have to feel safe. It is an incredibly vulnerable act to lay down, close your eyes and shut it all down for the night.

And my wee one… she’s just not there yet.

So where does that deep comfort come from?  What causes us to feel safe?

I’m convinced now, more than ever, that true safety and comfort come from knowing who’s in charge.  Who is the boss of me?  At the end of the day, who’s shoulders does all of this rest on?

And that’s a big lesson for QueenE, who for her whole life, has been in charge of it all.  She has taken care of herself…there has been no one to mind her business.  She has lived in a void of care.

She simply was not designed to be in charge of her little life.

Authority and Rest.  They are tethered together.  One affecting the other.

Authority.

We need it.  Desperately.  We don’t think we do, until we don’t have it and we watch our hearts drift and wander, desperate for the steady hand of love communicated through boundaries.

True rest of the soul comes from knowing who your authority is, knowing who’s you are.

I have searched the scriptures and seen that over and over again God shows His people that He is the one in charge; that He created a people that need Him to be.

And how does he choose to do that?

Through provision.

He chooses to prove He is the boss of it all by providing for the very things His people need.

How kind is our God?

He shows His ability to rule by giving us what we need, exactly when we need it.

The Israelites doubted, a ton, who was truly in charge, until God opened the heavens and food came down to fill their desperately hungry bellies. (Exodus 16)

The woman at the well did not know a thing about authority, that is until Jesus walked up, told her EVERYTHING ABOUT HERSELF (clearly He’s in charge) and then offered her living water…the only thing she truly needed to quench that deep thirst she had not found the bottom of.  (John 4)

And nothing shows true authority more than feeding 5,000 when you only have some scraps to start with.  (Matthew 14)

Jesus healed and raised folks from the dead.  Miracles provisional in nature: providing freedom from sickness, breathing life where death reigned.  Every time establishing His authority as King.

So, here’s the equation:

True rest of the soul comes when we know that it all rests on His shoulders, and that He will always and forever give us everything that we need.

That is what brings felt safety for our hearts, what produces the lay down and snooze kind of rest.

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone,
O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”  (Psalm 4:8)

“It is Well” of the soul comes when we finally decide to give it all up, be vulnerable and hand it all to Jesus, admitting that He truly is in charge.

As for The Hammett family….we are in it to win it with QueenE.  She is our daughter and we will show her we’re in charge through the ways we provide for her every need.  And the more she learns that we can be trusted, that good gifts come from our hands into her life, she will learn to rest.

How about you?  Are you missing some good ole’ fashion rest for your heart?  Are you weary from carrying the load and believing that it all depends on you.

Well here’s some good news: it doesn’t depend on you.  It never has.

You have a Heavenly Authority who delights in being in charge.  He can handle your load, and mine, and QueenE’s and every child of His that has breath in their lungs.

Lay down and rest my friend.

He can be trusted.

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For those of you who are curious…here is our new and improved plan for sleep:

We call it Baby Boot Camp.

We have started “sleep training” QueenE to be able to lay down and sleep in complete comfort.

The basic idea is to provide for her needs WHILE showing her boundaries and authority.
So when she wakes up, we sooth and pat her on the back, lay her down OVER AND OVER again, until she falls back to sleep.

No getting her up.  No getting in the bed.  No doing “whatever it takes to make the crying stop”….this is full on tough love.

Authority will produce rest.  `