“I object…your Honor…”

“All rise for the judge..” the Bailiff proclaimed, and we all stood as the judge made his way to the bench.

I am such a nerd…and I LOVE being a part of anything that I have only seen on TV.  When I watch a show I truly believe that I could do and be whoever the character is and pull off whatever insane plot has been laid out for them. When I watch 24 I believe that I am Jack Bauer…and that in every parking garage I will have to take down a terrorist. When I watch spy movies I desperately yearn to be a spy…Lord knows I’m nosey enough for it. I believe I could intubate someone or remove an organ simply because I have watched Grey’s Anatomy.

But the courtroom…the courtroom unnerves me to my core, no matter how many courtroom dramas I have seen.

I am ALWAYS nervous in a courtroom. It’s quiet and usually everyone in the room has something to lose. Even when someone wins a case…it’s typically because they have already lost something.

I am intimidated by judges. They scare the BA-JESUS out of me.

Anytime a judge enters I feel one overwhelming emotion: ACCUSED. I begin to feel that I should confess my sins to them and hold out my hands, ready for the cuffs. I literally feel like they are going to randomly call me forward and tell me I’m under arrest… for what I dunno…but I secretly believe that I’ve done something wrong that I don’t remember and that day will be my day of legal reckoning.

I also get overwhelming urges to do things when I’m in a courtroom…like stand up and yell a curse word (hold your judgment) or stand up and declare, “I object your honor.” (who hasn’t wanted to do that)

So I’m telling you I’m a crazy person deep down…and the courtroom setting threatens to bring that out of me.

But this day, in the courtroom, I learned more about God’s heart than at any other time in my life. The courtroom became center stage for God and the attributes of who He is…and how we should respond.

This particular day, in juvenile court, I was honored to be with a sweet 12 year old girl that was brought into my life through the ministry I have the honor of being a part of. At the age of 10 she was put out onto the street corner and taught how to sell her body. She was trained under her mom and taught very young that she had a money maker and that she better use it. She has seen more trauma and loss than any number of people combined. Her childhood is gone. She’s been with more men than she can count and has been plagued by addiction, STDs, abuse and neglect. She is 12 years old and already her life has been taken from her.

She was going before the judge on this particular day for a felony charge. She has been in front of this judge so many times that it has become common place for both her and him. He is NEVER shocked to see her and she is NEVER shocked to be in trouble. It is her normal…what she has grown accustomed to.

The room was quiet as we waited for the judge to begin his proceedings. This particular charge carried with it a 1-5 year sentence in prison. (and for her, more than likely the full 5 years) I was a nervous wreck. I could not imagine what it was going to feel like to see this sweet baby be given a sentence that would rob her of the rest of her childhood…what little scraps were left of it.

I was shaking head to toe…nervous enough for both of us.

She was cool as a cucumber. Numb. She didn’t care.

The judge began to speak:

“Today, I have brought you to this courtroom on the count of a felony charge. If I charge you with this charge you could serve up to 5 years in a secure prison. Do you understand that?

She shook her head yes.

“Now, I have seen you more times that I can count. You have been in and out of here with very little change. You have committed criminal acts and have not shown yourself to be willing to change. Would you say that all of these things are true?”

She smirked and shook her head yes…again…numb.

“BUT TODAY, I am going to choose to drop this charge that’s been placed against you. And if I do that, it will no longer be on your record and you will not be held accountable for it after you leave here. It will be like it never happened.   Do you understand what that means.”

No nod. She just stared back at him.

“Let me explain again. I am willing to drop the charge that has been brought against you, which is a felony charge that could put you in prison for up to 5 years. I am saying that today, I am willing to wipe that off your record.”

Silence in the court room.

“Is that what you would want me to do?”

She leaned forward to the microphone, and into the silence spoke, “ No your honor, I AM GUILTY. I want to take the charge…I do not want you to erase it.” And she began to cry silently.

I put my head between my legs. I couldn’t breathe. Had this child just sentenced herself until her adulthood? What in the world was she thinking? She was given a get out of jail free card and she was giving it away.

The courtroom went into a flurry of whispers. Her lawyer leaned over to her and whispered things in her ear. She was clarifying what the judge had said and asking her if she was sure about her decision.

The judge could sense our shock and panic.

“I would like to allow some time for you (pointing to the lawyer) and you (pointing to me) with her in my chambers.”

He was giving us a chance to talk to her…because even he knew that this was a bad decision.

“I will give you 5 minutes,” he stated.

We made our way into his chambers where we found our girl, balled up on a bench crying.

I bent down eye level and began to try and figure out what was going on in that baby, twisted mind of hers. I explained what was going on every way that I could possible explain it. I told her that the judge was giving her a free gift…and that she would have a chance to start her life over. A clean slate…no more charges haunting her…no more stigma attached to her name. Freedom.

She was a brick wall. Nothing was getting through to her heart. Tears streamed down her face.

I leaned in as close as possible and asked her, “Why?”

And she said something next that rocked me to my core. “Because I don’t deserve it.”

I sat back on the floor in front of her.

She continued, “I am guilty. I don’t know why yall are all trying to tell me I’m not. I’ve done too much….broken too many things…I am guilty. I deserve what is coming to me. I don’t deserve anything that’s free. Nothing is free anyways….everything will require something from me.”

And there, in that moment, I saw her heart.

Over the next minute or two I was able to share the gospel with her. The Good News that we, very guilty and undeserving, are given the free gift of Salvation…a fresh start…a clean slate. That, just like her that day, I had been given the same sort of get out of jail free card in my life…and I didn’t deserve it one single bit.

Our five minutes were up.

The judge summoned us back out into the courtroom.   We all took our seats and the room fell quiet again.

“Ok…let’s try this again.” He stated.

“Do you understand that I would like to waive the felony charges from your record and let you start over today? Is that what you want?”

She leaned forward, bench creaking underneath her and, quietly into the mic stated, “Yes your honor, that’s what I want.”

The courtroom went from tense to elated in an instant. We all looked at each other with relief. She was getting the best chance anyone would ever give her….that day she would walk out in freedom.

End of story right?

Wrong.

Two days later, she ran away.

Ran out the front doors of where she was living and into the streets. She was picked up by the same police and brought back to the same detention center.

A phone call was made to her mentor where she explained, “I can’t accept it. I don’t deserve it.”

She will face the same judge for the same charges…and this time will have to serve time.

---

Guilty. No questions asked. We’re all dirty, guilty and deserve whatever death is coming to us.

God is our RIGHTEOUS and JUST judge….and upon finding us in our sin DECIDES to free us up. To wipe the dirtiness and brokenness right off our record. To give us a fresh start…clean…white as snow. No longer accused, no longer a criminal.

In fact…He doesn’t just offer to wipe our sin off the record….because it has been done and we are in fact guilty. The door opens in His courtroom and in walks Jesus- wearing the orange jumpsuit and handcuffs that had our name on it just minutes before. He is coming in to take our charges…the guilt will fall on Him…and in an instant we will be declared NOT GUILTY.

End of story right?

Wrong.

How many of us leave the courtroom and walk right back into what we have been freed from? How many of us are STILL existing in the very sin, the very brokenness and darkness that we’ve been pardoned from? The guilt is gone…the charges have been cleared, yet WE CAN’T ACCEPT IT.

We choose not to take God at His word.

“I object…Lord,” we tell Him.

We choose to believe the lies about who we were and who we are over the truth of the verdict that was handed down to us: NOT GUILTY.

We don’t allow ourselves to be truly free.

We in essence walk right out of the court room, into a jail cell that WE HAVE CREATED.

When God, the ONLY RIGHTEOUS and JUST Judge has deemed us free. Someone, Jesus, has already taken our place.  He voluntarily stepped forward to serve our time.

Freedom doesn’t make sense when you’ve been in bondage for so long. It feels foreign. You don’t want it because ultimately you feel you don’t deserve it. You are, in fact, guilty.

Freedom can only come when you pick up the NOT GUILTY verdict and choose to live in it every single day. Freedom comes when you, remembering that youare guilty, choose to live in the new reality of being declared spotless.

Freedom is not forced on us. It is freely ours, but only if we accept it.

We can choose to reject what our Judge is offering and continue to live the life sentence that the enemy has spoken over us.  He is the great ACCUSER after all.  ( Revelation 12:10)

Is that you?

Are you choosing today to live in the sin that was cleared when our Judge declared you NOT GUILTY?

Are there parts of your heart that are not whole because somewhere deep down you believe that you ultimately don’t deserve it?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

None of us deserve what our Righteous Judge has given us. We are all guilty people walking free…and every day we breathe we bring more sin against our case…and are met daily with another courtroom scene where God breathes freedom instead of time in prison.

Take a deep breath. Have you been freed? If so, WALK IN IT…DANCE IN IT…Rejoice!

If you are not free…go before our judge and plead your case- even though it is full of sin. He will rule with righteousness and I can guarantee you will get what you DO NOT DESERVE.

“Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand!
Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.”   Galatians 5:1

“So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through.”  John 8:36

“Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil,
but living as servants of God.”  1 Peter 2:16

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  Romans 8:1

Live this day in the wide open spaces of God’s freedom instead of the confined, cold four walls of a prison cell.  Choose to shake off the handcuffs and revel in your new found, undeserved, abundant life.