So, this week…. how do I even put words to this… I watched a BABY come into the world.
Let me give you a little back story:
A precious woman in one of our programs, we’ll call her H, came into our lives 2 weeks ago. She was transplanted here from another city. When we met her she was broken, tired and at the end of her rope. H has been in prostitution from a young age, and now at age 24, was carrying the child of her pimp….the man who had sold her countless times, abused her and made her life a living hell.
The day we met she was 2 weeks away from her due date.
I promptly told her: “Do not go into labor in front of me.” She laughed….I didn’t.
A small bit of info about me:
I AM A PANICKER.
Sounds strange if you know what my job is, but let me explain. When it comes to things like tornadoes, fires in buildings, turbulence on a plane….and child birth.. I AM NO USE. These are the scenarios that I, in all seriousness, have given my husband Brent FULL permission to knock me out unconscious until it’s over. I’m going to be easier to deal with as dead weight than I would be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. And I MEAN IT. I would not be mad at him after knocking me out. I would thank him. (unless he wasn’t able to do it in one punch…and then I may be a little irritated)
So, for the last few weeks I have constantly reminded H any time she grabbed her stomach or had a hiccup… “Don’t go into labor right now…” (Like she could control it)
So, you can imagine my reaction when she hinted that she wanted me in the room with her. Dear Lord in Heaven.
So, Wednesday, I suited up and walked into a labor and delivery room for the very first time.
I had made a plan. I would sit at her head, behind the curtain and just keep my head down. My #1 goal: DON’T PASS OUT, OR THROW UP.
I didn’t want to add to the drama of it all by throwing up all over the nurse…and I for sure didn’t want to hit the floor.
So… I was just going to keep my head down.
Dr. Phillips (one of our ROCKSTAR doctors who cares for any of our girls in our ministry) got in position and was ready to start.
But before he did…he looked at his nurse and told her to go turn up the radio…so HE COULD SING while he sliced into my sweet friend lying on the table. (I will never think of T Swift’s “Shake it off” the same)
Prior to yesterday all I knew about the operating room I learned from Grey’s Anatomy…a show that I am obsessed with (I’ll give you a minute to judge me). So when Dr. Phillips started singing, my first thought was, “It’s JUST LIKE GREY’S ANATOMY”
So, the first cut was made and it was time for the C Section. Dr. Phillips looked at me and said, “Please stand up and watch.” To which I promptly said, “Nope”. And he said, “You always ask me why I love my job so much….stand up and watch why…this is what life is all about right here…you need to watch it.” (again a scene right out of Grey’s) The nurse told me she would stand behind me in case I passed out….realll encouraging.
So I DID IT. I stood up and sat right back down…just a test. And then I felt the Lord encourage me to watch…sounds weird…but I heard him say, “Trust me…you don’t wanna miss this.”
So I STOOD UP AND WATCHED THE ENTIRE THING.
I watched as they began to move her organs around and PULL THEM OUT (!!!!!!) of her body in order to bring that baby boy into the world.
AND THEN THE MOMENT THAT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE:
I watched as Baby Elijah breathed his first breath in our world. Brand new…screaming…his first breath in the life that God has created for him. I will never be the same….ever.
They brought Elijah over the curtain to see his BRAVE and BEAUTIFUL mama who fought so hard for him to be here…and now their life could start. She kissed him and they wheeled him off to do a bunch of nasty stuff that I decided not to be a part of.
THEN…it’s not over… Dr. Phillips showed me all the body parts and pointed out where everything was. “Here’s her ovaries, bladder…this is her uterus…” and H is just laying there, I’m sure thinking… SEW ME UP!!! But I was in awe.
I was a hysterical snot nosed mess the entire time… and not grossed out ONE SINGLE TIME. I’m not lying to you….I did not have one squeamish moment.
Adrenaline was pumping through my body…I was shaking from head to toe.
As I was walking out of the delivery room, the Lord began to speak so strongly to me. I felt him saying these things:
“That, my child, is what life with me is about. NEW LIFE. When you get discouraged, or tired, or lonely or frustrated….remember that moment you just had…because that was a moment with me. I did that. I brought new life out of a NEW LIFE. His mama is mine now….she is rescued…and he will be too.”
I realized that I had just experienced one of the most sacred, holy moments of life. A new birth… but I knew in my heart that I had watched two new births. H is receiving a new life as well. God is bringing her into a life with Him for the first time, and just like her son Elijah took his first breath, H too has taken her first few breaths of freedom.
Just 2 weeks ago she was addicted to cocaine, selling her body to whoever would buy her, controlled by a man and sold by him over and over again.
And now, she was holding her brand new baby, SURROUNDED by a new family who loves her. She is one of the bravest and most beautiful women on the face of the earth. She turned her back on all that she knew and she chose Jesus instead.
I remember taking my first few breaths of new life. I remember the first moments of peace, knowing that the Lord was mending my heart. There’s nothing like those first deep breaths. If you know Jesus, you too have experienced a new birth. There was once a time where you were dead…as a door knell.. dead in your sin.
“‘On the day you were born your umbilical cord was not cut, you weren’t bathed and cleaned up, you weren’t rubbed with salt,
you weren’t wrapped in a baby blanket. No one cared a fig for you.
No one did one thing to care for you tenderly in these ways. You were thrown out into a
vacant lot and left there, dirty and unwashed—a newborn nobody wanted.
And then I came by. I saw you all miserable and bloody.
Yes, I said to you, lying there helpless and filthy,
“Live! Grow up like a plant in the field!” And you did. You grew up…
But you were naked and vulnerable, fragile and exposed.
I came by again and saw you, saw that you were ready for love and a lover.
I took care of you, dressed you and protected you. I promised you my love and entered the covenant of marriage with you.
I, God, the Master, gave my word. You became mine. I gave you a good bath, washing off all that old blood, and anointed you with aromatic oils. I dressed you in a colorful gown and put leather sandals on your feet.
I gave you linen blouses and a fashionable wardrobe of expensive clothing.
I adorned you with jewelry:
I placed bracelets on your wrists, fitted you out with a necklace, emerald rings, sapphire earrings, and a diamond tiara. You were provided with everything precious and beautiful: with exquisite clothes and elegant food, garnished with honey and oil.
You were absolutely stunning. You were a queen!
You became world-famous, a legendary beauty
brought to perfection by my adornments.”
Ezekiel 16
We have been given new life. Our Father passed by us and saw that we were in need of rescue, and not only did He pick us up from that place, bloody and messed up, but he CLEANSED US and MADE US WHOLE and MADE US BEAUTIFUL.
God didn’t think it was enough to simply save you from despair…He wanted to COMPLETELY remake you. Please do not forget the beauty of this in the day to day of your life.
BUT HERE’S THE KICKER. He didn’t do all that just for you. He has done all he has done in your life so that you can turn around and be HIS hands and feet to others who are tossed out and left for dead. That’s the whole point. He cleans us up and gives us a brand new start so that we can take what’s been done for us and tell EVERYONE WE KNOW about it.
One of the most beautiful things about the heart of God is His desire to use US. He wants to use me…as short sighted and jacked up as I am. His desire is to allow me to be a part of someone else receiving new life. You want to know why? Because He knows it will bring us the greatest joy and HIM THE GREATEST GLORY.
I am overwhelmed that I get to do what I do. It is the greatest honor in the world to walk through life with my precious friends who find themselves broken, homeless, depressed and addicted….exploited and empty. To see the light bulb come on when they realize how much God loves them, there is nothing like that in the entire world.
Honor beyond imagination to be in those most sacred moments when you watch the Lord begin to rebuild someone’s life…We do not deserve to be there…and we don’t deserve to be a part…but it is the heart of God for us to be RIGHT THERE when he works miracles.
In your life, right now, who are you walking with? Do you know people who are dead on the inside? If you do, you know the author of NEW LIFE….open your mouth about Him and watch Him begin to work miracles. If you don’t know people who are broken…get out there and find them.
Our entire purpose for living is so that others meet Jesus.
GOD IS ABOUT RESTORATION of His children. He can and does work miracles for the most broken…and if we obey Him, we get to be in the delivery room when they take their first breaths.
