Brent and I had decided that we were a one-kid family…we were content and felt whole with our little unit of 3. Our little has the personality, spice and pizazz of 3 children…so she was more than enough for us.
We talked often of being “done” and how we would raise our little Congolese rascal to be a balanced, only child- that didn’t act like an only child. (insert eye roll because let’s face it she ACTS LIKE AN ONLY CHILD ALREADY) We had grand plans! It felt safe and secure and do-able.
One afternoon my phone rang and it was one of my heart-connected besties, Angel. Our babies were raised in the same orphanage and slept on the same concrete bed as each other in the heart of Africa. We are currently executing a modern day arranged marriage between my Liv and her Oaks. They will make beautiful African babies for us.
“Hey. Crazy story for you,” is how she started.
She told me the story of a little Congolese girl named Esther. She had been adopted by an American family that didn’t want her anymore…you read that right…they adopted her and didn’t want her anymore. (I am restraining myself from stepping onto a soap box)
She was from the same orphanage as our babies. We couldn’t fathom the pain she was experiencing to be losing yet another family. We wept together on the phone out of sadness and sheer anger as we processed the heartache of this precious little one.
“Send me a picture,” I said.
In seconds this bright eyed-big grinned beauty was staring back at me. My entire being began to shake.
What welled up in me immediately was the mama-fight I had first felt with my Liv…that deep down fierceness that only a mother can know. That old familiar deep, aching, longing feeling came bursting through the surface of my heart and mind…and in a second my one-kid heart had PLENTY of room for another…a daughter.
I approached my level-headed-much-more-stable other half with my emotions in check. Leading with hysterics does not move him IN THE LEAST.
I told him the story and then showed him Esther.
“You need to find out more. What do we need to do? Just find out.”
Many conversations were had. Questions were asked, plans were made and then we waited for the story to unfold.
This story doesn’t end the way you would think.
Esther is in a home and she is safe and she is loved…but it is not our home.
But this sweet little Esther- she stormed the gates of our heart and showed us that we, in fact, had a coming daughter. Our home wasn’t full yet…our hearts were not closed…we now had the knowledge that when faced with the possibility of another little one it was a natural response to say YES.
When asked to fight…we had the fight in us…and we had the want to. When asked to respond we didn’t have a long list of reasons why we couldn’t.
Her need became ours.
Is there any story more fitting for a girl named Esther than for her life to beg the question, “What will you do in this moment? At this time?” When the time comes, what will you do? Will you chase after the longing of your Father’s heart…for you to step up and do something? Will you push back against the plans that you had carefully laid out for your life and choose differently?
For such a time as this. Esther reminded us what if felt like to take blind steps of obedience–no safety net, no explanation, no plan.
This is where the Father is. He is in the times such as these. Those crossroads of obedience that require more of us than we feel we have to give…that require more bravery than our comfortable lives feel can be mustered up.
He dwells among the bravery of Queen Esther..who stepped forward and saved her people, when all odds were not in her favor.
The Hammetts are more than proud to announce that we are in the fight for our coming one…our soon to be daughter.
Our hearts are feeling the familiar stirring of parents in the making. Our spirits are quickening each step we take…no matter how big or small…every step is headed in the direction of our new little one.
And her name will be Esther.
It was an Esther that steered us to the open space of obedience.
We have begun an adoption from China.
We don’t know much…or anything really…except for that we are ready.
We are ready not just for Esther to be in our arms…but we’re ready to fall into the depths of the Father as we walk through something so like Him. Adoption places you so close to Him that you see parts of His nature that are not visible in any other way.
We are ready for the tension, the strife and the longing. For in those times, at times such as those, our dependence grows and we find ourselves right smack-dab in the middle of His will for our lives: desperate dependence.
Esther…we’re coming for ya! We love you deeply already.
Help our family bring Esther home:
www.purecharity.com/adoptingesther
